It’s hard to know what to do when someone you care about is being scammed.

However, you can play a crucial role in protecting those you care about.

On this page

Important things to remember

There are common red flags to look out for

If you’re concerned about a friend or family member our red flags checklist can help you better understand the warning signs.

Being scammed can be an isolating experience

Your loved one probably needs your support more than ever. Our conversation starters can help you prepare how best to talk to them.

Anyone can be scammed

Scammers are sophisticated and manipulative criminals. Being scammed is not a weakness - learn more about scam psychology.

Red flags
checklist for
family and friends  Conversation
starters for family
and friends  Understanding how
scammers manipulate
your loved one

Warning signs

Listen for mentions of ongoing contact with a new person, especially if they haven’t met the person they are talking about in real life.

Contact that involves sending money, sharing personal information or images, talking about job opportunities and investments and pressure to act quickly could be a scam.  

Scammers will often move communication to encrypted online platforms and phone. This hides their real identity and lets them control the time and pace of conversations.

If you notice a sudden lifestyle or behaviour change, this may be a warning sign. For example, if your usually outgoing grandparent suddenly becomes withdrawn or anxious.

If you’re the person’s authorised caregiver with permission to review their financial statements, it’s a good idea to look for any suspicious or unusual activity.

Grooming

Grooming occurs when a scammer builds a trusting relationship with the victim through regular contact. Scammers will convince the victim that they are their friend, a professional investment adviser, or a romantic interest. The relationship a scammer builds with their victim can be very intense.

Scammers understand an immediate request for money is likely to be unsuccessful. Instead, after developing a relationship, the scammer will often ask for a relatively small amount of money or investment initially, which breaks down the barrier to sending more money and normalises further payments.

In many cases, once the scammer has successfully gained their target’s trust, they will attempt to cut them off from family, friends and colleagues. This isolation makes it easier for the scammer to stay in control and makes it harder for others to identify and point out red flags.

It is also very common for victims to be targeted in further money recovery scams.

Real life story

Identify the scam

Once you’ve noticed warning signs, the next thing you can do is help someone you care about identify the scam. Our types of scams page provides useful information on the main scams.

You may need to investigate and gather evidence to convince your loved one that they have experienced a scam. For example, research unfamiliar companies with the Australian Securities and Investments Commission (ASIC), run image searches on photos provided by a potential scammer to see if the photo has been used elsewhere and read fine print in emails, websites or documents to see if everything adds up.

Once you have confirmed the scam, you may need to leave the information with your family member for them to process in their own time. If they reach out to you once they realise the scam, ask your family member what they would like to happen next. This helps them to feel they are taking control.

If they don’t believe they’ve been scammed

Your ability to help will be harder if the person you care about does not accept they are being scammed. Try searching online for the scammer’s details, which will often lead to anti-scam websites where the scammer is known. Show these results to your family member. You can also show them how many people get scammed every year by using our scams statistics.

A representative from your local police or a scam victim support group may also be able to talk things through with them.

Use our helpful pages (Red flags checklist for family and friends, Conversation starters for family and friends and Understanding how scammers manipulate your loved one) to provide support and resources for friends and family of someone who doesn’t recognise they are being scammed.

How to help once a scam is identified

If your family member agrees, you should make sure that all contact with the scammer stops immediately. Find out exactly what personal information has been revealed.

Block the scammer’s email address or ‘unfriend’ them from any social media sites or apps. Report the scammer to the app or platform. Consider changing your family member’s email address and phone number, especially if contact from the scammer continues. Their telephone provider may agree to change their number for free. If a physical address has been given, seek advice from local police.

You can report a scam to Scamwatch on behalf of someone else.

We also provide guidance on where to get help.

Providing emotional support

Victims are often embarrassed or afraid to tell anyone when they think they might have been scammed. They might fear losing their independence or might not want others to think they’re not capable of taking care of themselves. They may withdraw from contact or refuse to discuss the problem openly. Emotions may include anger, sadness, embarrassment, shame and guilt.

Remain patient and supportive. Remember while they may not show it, they are experiencing strong emotions. Never ridicule or make fun of someone’s circumstances. How family, friends and organisations treat the victim directly influences their mental health and their ability to recover from the scam.

It is also normal for you to feel frustrated or helpless, particularly if your loved one has not accepted they are being scammed.

You can also speak to a relationship counsellor for confidential, professional advice to make sure you support your own emotional wellbeing while supporting a scam victim.

Dr Kate Gould, neuropsychologist and Senior Researcher at Monash University, gives expert advice on how to support someone when they tell you they’re the victim of a scam.

I'm Doctor Kate Gould. I'm a scam researcher and a clinical neuropsychologist.

If someone tells you that they have been scammed, that is really somebody saying that they deeply trust you with something very difficult that they've gone through.

So it's important to be non-judgmental, not to blame them, and to be open and curious with what they've gone through and offer practical and emotional support.

[End of transcript.]

Tips to help you have a conversation about scams

Do:

  • Recognise that the scammer is a professional and has invested in this relationship. You are more likely to get through based on the strength of your own relationship, rather than the strength of your argument.
  • Empower the victim to discover the scam on their own by sharing real life examples. You can refer to our library of victim story-telling videos to help.
  • Consider drawing up a "Promises Made/Promises Kept" list that covers the history of the relationship. Don't judge - just document.
  • Reassure them that you will always be there for them. Explore ways that you can fill the void left by the scammer with alternatives.

Don't:

  • Blame. Come to the conversation from a place of concern. Use phrases like “I’m worried about you” rather than “How can you not see what’s really going on?”
  • Lecture or say “I told you so”
  • Let the victim suffer in silence. Let them know you are there for them and will help them find support. Use the support services listed on this website.

When to escalate

Some situations require immediate intervention to prevent serious harm or financial loss.

Knowing when to contact police, banks, or other authorities can make the difference between stopping a scam and watching it consume someone’s life savings.

Red flags that require urgent action

Seek help straight away if any of these apply:

  • Large sums of money are being transferred.
  • Plans to travel to meet someone.
  • Sharing of identity documents or passwords.
  • Taking out loans or accessing retirement funds.
  • Threats from scammers when money stops flowing.

Support to recover from a scam

Recovering from a scam involves both emotional healing and practical security steps that can take months or years to complete. Your ongoing support and patience during this vulnerable time can help rebuild your loved ones’ confidence and protect them from becoming repeat victims.

After the scam ends

  • Focus on emotional support, not “I told you so”.
  • Help with practical steps such aschanging passwords or monitoring credit.
  • Understand that grief over lost money is real.
  • Watch for signs of depression or anxiety.
  • Help them regain confidence in their judgment gradually.
  • Connect them with support groups if available.

Preventing future scam attacks

  • Look out for money recovery scams where people claim to be able to get stolen money back.
  • Have regular check-ins about unusual contacts or opportunities.
  • Help to set up robust security practices.
  • Take steps to address underlying vulnerabilities such as loneliness or financial stress.

See also